วันพุธที่ 5 ธันวาคม พ.ศ. 2550

Dating Advice for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Dating Advice for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Getting into a relationship post divorce or death of a spouse can be scary.

It had been a year since Sally’s divorce had come through. Her twins Jason and Emma had just celebrated their thirteenth birthday and things were looking up for her professionally. John had stood by Sally like a rock through a very difficult year. Mutual attraction was there, but at the same time there was nagging fear and doubt.

Sally is just one among several moms who are divorced or widowed and can’t seem to take a step in the direction of a new relationship. Here is some http://www.eromance.com/local/dateideas.html>date ideas for divorced and widowed moms.

The first all important step is to put the past behind you. A divorce or death of spouse is a difficult experience that leaves people embittered. But life must go on, and if you have a partner by your side there is someone you can turn to for comfort. So begin by letting go of all the pain and sense of loss and don’t feel guilty about looking for love again.

Make sure that you give yourself enough time to recover from your break up or loss. Getting in to a relationship too soon after a break up is a fatal mistake. While love on the rebound offers a cushion of comfort, it is an option which if taken could color your vision for a short time. When reality bites at a later stage, things might not be quite the same. This also does not mean that you mope around or mourn forever.

An important piece of dating advice for divorced and widowed moms is related to the kids. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Your kids are an important part of your life and if they live with you post divorce, then you have to consider how your partner relates to them and vice-versa.

If you’ve found a partner and think your relationship has adequate potential then talk to your kids first. Make them comfortable with the idea of someone else joining the inner circle in your life.

If your partner is a parent himself, he will understand and identify with your concerns. But if he’s not then you must have an honest and open talk about your concerns in that area.

An important consideration is the age of the kids involved. In Sally’s case, her kids are quite grown up and at an age where they can understand their mother’s need for a relationship. But sometimes, even older kids can be resentful of their mother’s new partner. In this case it’s necessary for you and your new partner to discuss how to go about it.

Make sure your kids feel safe and comfortable with your partner, especially if you have a young daughter. Plan a fun activity that you and your partner can enjoy with the kids. Your kids need not take up all your time together but make sure they are in the picture and not on the periphery.

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