Online Dating: Use Your Common Sense

If you’ve been around the internet dating scene for more than the last couple of years, you’ve witnessed the industry grow from a kind of sleazy, underground entity into a multi-billion dollar a year behemoth of wonderfully engaging and classy websites.

Of course, some areas of the dating services on the web continue a sleaze factor, but after all, the internet does imitate the actual world, doesn’t it?

The one quality everyone needs to possess in this wild, roller-coaster world of ours and in the world of the internet remains constant: common sense! And, in the world of internet dating, this common sense approach is mandatory.

A number of common sense approaches to internet dating are simple and easy to remember and easy to put into practice.

1. Don’t identify yourself in an online dating environment. Get yourself one of the many free email accounts offered on the web. Do not release your real name, your address or telephone number in any way. If you feel a contact you make can be trusted…wait! Time is on your side. The urge to be impatient and hook-up with someone quickly is inevitable, but wait.

2. When you’re composing a personal ad or when you’re in a chat room or instant message, be honest about yourself and make your intentions easy to understand. Want to just flirt? Make it known that you are just flirting! Don’t give anyone a reason to think you’re someone you’re not.

3. “Listen” and “watch” what is going on with the person you are communicating with. Again…common sense is the rule. If something seems to be amiss with the other person, if a feeling of uneasiness with the direction of the conversation, gracefully bow out. Your intuition is almost never wrong! Never let your emotions pour out of you…even if you think you may have found the “right” match…wait until you meet in person. Then, you’ll really find out what’s up with them!

4. If the other person seems to be pushing the idea of talking on the phone, wait until it feels right for you. You are in control over everything that transpires, remember that. When you do start a telephone “meeting”, ask for their number if it makes you feel more secure. Then you can call when you want to, not at the whim of the other contact. Again, listen to everything in that call…the contact’s voice: sincere or somewhat demanding? The sounds in the background: kids yelling, baby crying, any instance that doesn’t seem right to you…the person may not have been truthful in what they have told you about themselves. Common sense!

5. When and if you decide to meet face to face, tell your family (yikes!) or a friend or trusted co-worker about the plans. Tell them exactly what your time-frame regarding the date will be and where you are going. If plans change, like going from a meeting in a coffee shop to a walk in a park, let someone know! It would be a good idea beforehand to let the person you are going to meet that you only want an “open” date…..with people around. If they act rebuffed or a little miffed at that, they aren’t interested in you feeling secure. Don’t agree to go any further!

And…maybe the most important aspect of this first, maybe second or even third meeting with this person…have your own transportation! Do not depend on them to pick you up. Observing the obvious…it also gives you a way out of you are least bit uncomfortable. If you are…leave! No car of your own? Call friends immediately or grab a cab…you are in control!

Internet dating can be a lot of fun, but as with anything in life, it only takes one bad apple to spoil everything. Be cautious, use every ounce of your intuition and common sense and enjoy yourself! All three can work together…you have all the control!

Ted Denton has been watching the evolution of online dating services, offering tips and advice about online dating and recommending some of the top internet dating sites for a number of websites. Find my tips and techniques for safe dating site-surfing and reviews of great services here: Internet Dating Reviews